He led me to the bed and positioned me in the middle. Then he spread my arms and legs to the four corners and secured them gently with soft ties. A blindfold was put over my eyes. He knew I loved it when I had to anticipate what was going to happen. I felt secure in his hands. He kissed me lightly and I could hear him as he moved around the room. I could not tell what he was doing by the sounds, but my imagination was running a little wild. That was the whole reason for the blindfold, and he knew it. My thoughts were crazy as I heard him shuffle and run water, and...well...I just wasn't sure what he was doing. I tried hard to listen, but he was humming at the same time and it was throwing me off. Finally, I heard nothing. I did not realize he was just standing there watching me. This went on for a little while, then I felt the bed sag beside me as he sat down next to me. I felt something against my lips. I separated them and felt a cold sensation. It was a piece of ice he held. “I have a huge hankerin’ for some more teabaggin’.” “I‘m glad you called. You are full of romance and a tea bagger to boot!” replied Leslie. “Cool beans!“ replied Hugh as he hung up the phone and walked into the full service grocery store. “May I help you?” asked the clerk with a nametag on that said “Phil”. “Yes” answered Hugh, “I need some toilet paper for my anus.” “Ok,” replied Phil, “What kind of anus are we talkin’ here?” “Well, it’s a 1983 half Italian, Quarter French, seven thirty seconds Norwegian and one thirty second native American anus.” “Oh, interesting” said Phil. “Is this a huge anus we’re talking about here?” “Well I’m Hugh Jainus,” replied a slightly flustered Hugh Jainus. “But I don’t have a huge anus. It’s just average.” “Well then, I suggest a aloe lotion three ply all natural recycled unscented roll for you average sized 1983 half Italian, Quarter French, seven thirty seconds Norwegian and.
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